Another morning, another breakfast from corner store food because we are high maintenance like that.
The sophistication of this packaging, in particular, is a cultural event, at least for me. The onigiri is rice and seaweed, but it has to be packed in such a way that the moisture from the rice does not soak in and disintegrate the seaweed as the onigiri sits on the shelf. Well, all this requires is a three step process that feels like a combination of doing an entrance exam for one of the more prestigious daycares , as well as taking a course in "Resurrecting your understanding and placement in 4 dimensional space-time" (a course offered at the local community center by the 55 year old who has never given up on the Grateful Dead or ponytails despite male pattern baldness).
And then we are off to a walking tour that has been carefully planned by my partner. My job, as 'the parent who brings up the rear as my family walking though places in single file formation' is to not complain too much and not worry so much about where we are going or how long it's going to take to get there. I'm pretty much a natural at this.
I think a few posts back I talked about gacha stores, and the general spread of gacha mechanics. Randomized dopamine rushes are what built Las Vegas, it's good enough to build a thriving empire of.. vending machines that dispense cute plastic toys I guess.
We step into one because of course the kids simply MUST have some sort of trinket which will plague us until it accidently falls off a bag a few years in the future and we don't realize we even lost it until a few months after that but hey what do I know maybe this is all just a meditation on impermanence.
The thing is, a lot of these items are fantasy or anime or any sort of thing that folks can dream about as an escape from their humdrum ordinary life. That all makes sense. But some of these themes are much less understandable.
 |
Wanting a McLaren f1 super car?
No.
A sensible minivan is one of those
unattainable things
I yearn for all my life! |
 |
A little toy representing
a high
priced fashion accessory?
HAH! What about sensible
cleaning products that
really help with
tough to clean
tile grime and
water scaling! |
author's note: I had to write out, by hand, and HTML table to get images side by side. I guess I am the only human left actually using blogger.And then it's off to more walking. To some older parts of Kyoto with beautiful buildings and walks.
My quest for super rad plaques is spotty at best. This temple, for example, had signs that said things like "Please do not attach commercial postings to this shrine". This enigmatic simple sign, surely to tell me at least which Japanese Buddha deity this is, actually says "Security camera in full effect".
But it's hot, and we gotta keep moving, lots of pretty temples to look at. I eventually learn this is a temple to the Buddhist deity Susanoo. Which I only remember because that very European sounding name 'Susan" really sticks out. Takes away a bit of the mystery. There is a whole story about rivers and armies and .. it all gets pretty complicated pretty quickly.
After a bit of wandering me and the kids just sit under some shade and take in the heat; while my partner is off trying to find more beautiful things to take pictures of. She finds them for sure. And we find varied meanings of the word 'humid', 'discomfort', and 'how much is shade supposed to cool you down anyways'.
Then we are off to another temple. This one has a very decent plaque! So Japan had this very famous shogun who brought all of Japan together, Tokugawa . When the previous emperor died (Tokugawa's mentor), the wife created a temple and became a nun (becoming a nun being the regular thing for widows of shoguns to do). But what made this temple so long lasting and well appointed was that Tokugawa funded this entire thing from start to completion. Oh, that's what that Disney+/James Clavell novel was about, before you start thinking I did some pre-reading on Japanese history.
The funny thing about the plaque is that right at the point where it tells the reader what age she died, the writing is somewhat worn out. Like the ghost of this widow was very particular or vain about this fact and had it slowly erased from history, or so I'd like to think.
 |
| A very large weed. |
There was a bamboo forest nearby that you had to pay a fee to see and for some reason I drew the line at paying 6 bucks a head to look at very tall grass.
There are three things I think about when I see bamboo. The movie "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon"; the fact that if you plant it in your garden it is never every coming out; and that some parts of Asia still using this for building scaffolding for trades people go up and down and do actual work on high-rises. Oh wait, maybe four, pandas. Oh crap, no, five, there was probably almost no plaques on this walk.
In summary, no plaques, tall grass, and being reminded Yu Shu Lien will never find true love? NO THANKS.
This is a picture of an amazing huge bell. It's massive, makes me wonder if it's a war bell or.. I dunno, a Sonic Hammer? That's a thing, I'm sure. Or maybe imbued with a tragic yet touching past. Like this is the only remaining structure left of a peaceful village which made bells and was taken by the tsunami of 1183. But, no, no corresponding plaque because the universe conspires to thwart me at every turn.
There was a very interesting looking plaque that LOOKED like it applied to this bell but actually was for a rock garden just out of frame that I took no interest in out of spite. Pure plaque spite.
And then we make our way to this very large statue which was put up to honour all soldiers who have died in wars (I assume WW2), and was erected in hopes to promote world peace. It's huge and imposing. In a way that says Religion with a capital 'r'. It serves as focus point for the busses and busses of tourists from all over the world but is a center of worship as well, as it also inters remains if you are particularly religious. Or, I guess, if your surviving relatives are particularly religious, if we are being honest.
Behind the statue were all these other, well I'm just plain ignorant, I don't know what they are called, shrines? I know one of these is for the art of cooking so I assume it's for folks who want to be good at that?
Next more walking, more historic streets through the relentless humidity. We find a Studio Ghibli/ Peter Rabbit store that has a really impressive air conditioning setup, so we get our core temperatures to a more respectable Canadian level of cool while browsing some super cool merch. Don't even ask me how "Peter Rabbit" and "My Neighbour Totoro" are connected. I was busy experiencing coooollneeess.
This is the five stage temple, which was made in 800 something. Over the years it has been damaged or even burnt to the ground, but has been rebuilt every time. This whipper snapper of a building, dare I say, modern replica, was rebuilt sometime in the 1400's. Stuff in Japan can be pretty damn old.
We make it back to our place and rest up before we head out for dinner. We are determined to eat at an actual restaurant, and get okonomiyaki, this super rad egg based comfort food. So we do the usual thing, Google some restaurants, sort based on cost and review number and proximity, and head out.
|  | Why yes, I did used to
walk around with a DSLR
why do you ask. |
|
|
The nicest looking one is about 15 minutes walk out so brace for humidity and go. Well, the first place is closed, even though Google tells me clearly it should be open for another hour and a half. Huh. The Google instructions are always a little off, because it might get you there, but you are never 100% sure you are THERE, there. Or just looking at some unrelated ground floor business while the one you want to go to is 3 floors up, or what. But we double and triple check. Yup, just closed. Fine, we can go to another one, 5m away.
Get there, and this place is even less obvious what end is what. The side of the restaurant facing the main street is a sliding door that opens into their kitchen? That's not it, walk around a side alley and that's the door, sure, makes sense. But nope, this is locked too.
We Google if there is some sort of festival or mandatory holiday we didn't know about. Nothing. The first restaurant was very much near the residential area and we assume was a very local mom and pop shop that just closed because it could. Slow day, whatever. This restaurant, even with it's deceptive Not a Main Door But The Kitchen door trick it plays with the main street, looks like a busy restaurant. Or would be if it was open.
Undaunted! There will be no daunting here! So it's off to the third one. This place was much more obvious about where the door was, and much more obvious that it was, indeed, closed. The family is worried we'll have to eat more (quite delicious) corner store food and I must admit that my usual tenacious attitude is wanting. But fourth time's a charm! This is a phrase that's used, sure!
Luckily! This one is open. We have some delicious okonomiyaki! And some yaki soba! When I ask the server why the other restaurants might be closed he says 'maybe they ran out'. Which. this makes sense, but odd this would happen three times in a row. But he also said it with enough confidence that I have to believe him. Run out of supplies for the day, close shop. Which brings up all sorts of questions about how much room they have for refrigeration, but judging from what I've seen of Japan, not a lot.
Then, it's time to ditch the kids. Or, more likely, time for the kids to ditch the parents and go back to the hotel to immerse themselves in their screen mediated social lives.
I'm still feeling great from last night's karaoke, and decide we gotta do that again! Everything is looking up! (narrator : for now....).
 | Some of the cabs have
a very cool 80's aesthetic
which makes it feel like
retro Cyberpunk, I guess |
|  | The machine that counts
out your total and dispenses
your change. The clerk
just scans the items (this
is at a convenience store) |
|
It's a beautiful walk across the river to some night life zoned streets. The first karaoke bar we go to is empty. But we are no strangers to empty karaoke bars so we sit and have some drinks and have some wonderful chats with the owners.
They are charmingly young. Mid/late 20's, and this is THEIR bar. I can only assume the business licensing or whatever hoops folks have to go through to open a business are extremely streamlined in Kyoto. Owners this young is something you'd never see in Vancouver. Granted, it's not like we are regular pub goers, but we know the general pricing of real estate in Lotusland, and commercial rent/real estate can't be that far behind.
They are lovely hosts. We sing a few Disney songs. They love it. They sing us a Japanese song that was super fun but also super difficult. Some tricky rhythms and a few phrases that were too high and too long for my vocal chords, anyways.
After two hours we decide to trye other Karaoke spots, because why not! The next place we find is just a row of seats, and looks really upscale. It's the sort of place where high powered deals take place or old rich lonely men hang out for a chance for some small conversation over expensive drinks. Too fancy and weirdly depressing, for our tastes, we do a 180 and exit.
We go around the block to one last place. It's dark and loud and just packed with tourists like ourselves. The thing about public karaoke is it's comprised of generally a few types of singers.
Those who have done some training, singing in their childhood/youth and yearn to show off their skills (that's me and the missus). Those who maybe don't have training but they have that one song that they just knock RIGHT out of the park. Those who are inebriated past what their liver or wallet can handle and charge to the stage, regardless of whether they know the song or whether they even like the song. Those who are with a group of friends and you know that Backstreet Boys or a Spice Girls single is next on the queue.
 |
Look at me, blissfully unaware of impending doom
(yeah, somebody sang the Bare Necessities from
the Jungle Book) |
We listened to some real knock outs, "Black Hole Sun" by Sound Garden (he did a fantastic job but that song just keeps going at the end, doesn't it) , and 'It's So Quiet", that world famous cover by Bjork (she was so good I thought they forgot to get anyone to sing it and just had the song playing with Bjork; it wasn't until a group of folks were cheering in far corner that I realized it was a patron singing).
I decide, lots of Europeans/North Americans. I think I'll do "Creep", by Radio head (cover?). Everyone knows it, it's rock and roll.. adjacent. It has a great crescendo near the end and promptly ends.
Now the thing about Creep is it's universally loved by guys. The song is about the sort of outcast who specialized in choir or the A/V club, or maybe spent the lunch hour smoking under the bleachers discussing the ironic subversion of "Star Ship Troopers". The harried, odd, slightly intense nerd who never got the prom queen and probably preferred staying at home trying to beat Super Mario Bros 3, instead of going to Homecoming.
But even though THAT's who this is aimed at, almost every guy loves it. Even the bro who DID date the prom queen, probably had a sports car in high school and probably has skated (unconsciously) on their good looks, great skin, and amazing hair.
So, I start, completely confident that I'll nail it. Then the very bro guy (who's dental work was immaculate) yelled "This is the best song", and proceeds to sing it very loudly, and very incorrectly, right at me. Then the entire crowd starts singing it, to varies level of accuracy. Uh oh.
Ladies and gentlemen, I completely kiboshed it. Never got into the right key. I nailed the crescendo but at that point it's like the last scene in Braveheart where the crowd is just asking for a quick merciful death as Mel Gibson screams 'Freedom'. Freedom from ever showing my face here again, that's for sure.
I think, maybe I'll get one of those minivan gacha balls on the way home.
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