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Showing posts from October, 2006

Hi Todd!

Todd is this crazy guy in my office. His job is to spend a ton of time on the phone talking users through problems and apologizing for any troubles our systems are causing them. On the side, he assembles computers to sell to people. But for some reason, still considers them his. He's often saying things like "What have you done with my computer?". I think he has separation anxiety. He also tends to love this thing called s..poooortz? Something like that. Apparently, it's like the live action role play of such outstanding games like Madden and Virtua Tennis. That's all I'll say about him just at this moment, only because he insists I mention him. He's on the intarweb! he's FAMOUS!

I'm Writing a Novel

Well, I'm not writing a novel. I've written. And now I"m painstakingly editing and submitting to publishers and agents. It's exactly as exciting as it sounds. So, what does this mean in the end? What happens when Jay get's all published and stuff? Astounding fame? Dizzying fortune? A calvacade of escalades, all pimping with sick kicks and overflowing with Kristal? Almost precisely that, actually. Let me drop some science for all you would-be novelists. Here's how it goes down. You write the novel. A whole different, cumberously titanic ball of wax altogether. It involves TONS of reading, just reading lots of different fiction, as well as books and articles on how to write. It also involves, be still my stars, gads of writing. Writing until the little letters on you keyboard are worn to nothing, and they start to look like the sinister and generic keyboards found aboard the Death Star. It involves stopping any other activity in your life (luckily for me, I'm

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Top 10 Reasons to go to the Surrey Int'l Writer's Conference

So the incredibly cheery head coordinator lady has been asking for writer's to submit their top 10 reasons to go to the SiWC. I'm not sure what her sarcasm or bitterness level is. Judging by her verve and energy, I'm imaging it's quite low. So here, for all three of my readers, is my top 9 reasons to go: Because throwing a huge socializing event for introverts is an act of pure optimism Most expensive way to procrastinate More fun being nervous and insecure together Because lately, I've actually been feeling kinda optimistic about getting my book published. Because I can't persuade my wife to sen me to the "Venice International Writer's Festival" Because being around other people who cares about words is a treat. Because hope springs eternal. To prove to myself that editors are not, in fact, a Intimus 852 VS industrial cross cut paper shredde To dispel the myth that agents are not, in fact, a highly sophisticated spam filter. To experience the edgy

Writer's Conference

So I'm at my very first Writer's Conference. Think of it as the only time when you can get a bunch of introverts together to fumble through the process of social interaction. All in order to get their work out into the world. It's a harrowing creation. It's kind of like writing your novel all over again. In writing a novel, when you look at your peers, everyone is struggling, fighting their own personal demons, trying to get words to paper. You're in it for the long haul, it's daily battles to win the war. Everyone has a book idea to get on paper, that's the norm. At a conference, everyone has a novel written, that's the norm, and everyone is trying to get anyone to care. At a Writer's Conference, everyone is particularly interested in telling everyone else about what they are doing. It's not any different from real life, in that respect, at least among strangers: everyone waiting for the other person to stop talking so they can talk about themse

I'm a Dad!

Trying to think of something witty to say about fatherhood that hasn't been said about a billion times in as many languages is next to impossible. It's also only really exciting to people who are close to me (who, coincidentally, are the only people who know about or read this site); and those people already know I'm a dad, like, 2 months ago. But yes, it's great! The baby is cute, doesn't talk back, and really only has a limited number of things it could possibly want. And for now, none of those are cash money or the keys to my car. So everything is good. For those of you not in the know, newborn babies really only have a small spectrum of expressions. It's basically discomfort; threatening to be a full out cry; full out cry; and a vague sense of contentment which is fleeting as it segues quickly into sleep. Emotionally, I find her incredibly cute, but scientifically, I realize there are MILLIONS OF YEARS OF EVOLUTION pressuring me to find the baby cute. I don