- while fraternization is frowned upon, sexual harassment complaints from someone lower on the totem pole about someone who has, quite literally, carte blanche will always end poorly for the complainer.
- the Kleenex in the break room are for make-up removal or runny noses. Please bring your own supply for crying jags or otherwise personal issues.
- our wellness coordinator is actually a co-op/intern position that's shared with six other mulitnationals across three states. You may book an appointment with him/her in March and late October.
- people who are inordinately thirsty during the day will have their cubicles moved furthest from the watercooler.
- our 'paid grief time' is for recruitment purposes only.
- the 'security cameras' are actually used to record the time you take for your breaks and lunch.
- smokers and people who have been deemed 'generally unpleasant' get fewer, and less enthusiastic email reminders to join the Summer Company Picnic.
- there is no typing test when we interview for receptionists.
- all calls that may be monitored are, all calls that no one could reasonably assume would be monitored are.
- business texts are checked for spelling accuracy, all managers are reprimanded accordingly.
- the heater isn't really broken in the bathrooms. That would assume there are heaters there to BE broken.
- The new front door is a metal detector.
Man, you really do learn a new thing everyday. There have been a few shocking realizations I've had over the past month or so: -bizaare is spelled bizarre (how bizaare) -scythe is pronounced "sithe", not the phonetic way. Which is the way I've been pronouncing it in my head for my whole life. My entire youth spent reading Advanced Thresher Sci-Fi and Buckwheat Fantasy novels, for naught! -George Eliot was a woman, real name Mary Ann Evans. -Terry Gilliam is American. -Robocop is a Criterion Film. I shit you not . -Uhm, oh damn, just after I post this, I find that, this movie is a Criterion film as well . Maybe I don't know what being a Criterion film really entails.. Alright all (three) readers of my blog, post and lemme know some earth shattering facts you've learned recently.
Comments