Failed Approaches to Defending Ship Memorabilia Purchases to Your Spouse

• Oh my god, it's not like I said ANYTHING about you wanting to BRONZE Sebastien's shoes? And he has weird feet.
• It's like this, OK, you loved Richard Gere in "An Officer and and Gentleman", right? Well, it's kinda like that. Except without the subtle gay subtext.
• Well, you did make me eat kale. KALE. *looks meaningfully at 1/2 empty plate*
• I could just get a Veritech fighter. 1/60 scale.
• Oh, so your love of anachronism stops as soon as we need 2 feet of bookshelf space for a 110-gun Spanish Galleon with flammable rigging. What? It is.
• I promise this has nothing to do with me calling it "Davey Jone's Locker" down there.
• You said no to my rubber ducky, my rubber sheep, AND my inflatable Betty Boop, and NOW THIS? What is WRONG with you?
• Don't you dare bring my LP collection of "The Captain and Tenille". They are TOO more important to 20th century pop culture than "Sonny & Cher".
• Well, you DID make me learn all those knots. 
• My interest in it has nothing to do with the fact that your lines have evolved from a schooner to a East Indiaman to a 120 gun 1st rate. Nothing at all.
• I'll promise to stop christening and naming our cats. Or prepending their name with HMS, okay?