Things I Would Do For Fun If I Had More Moxie

• Buy a security guard outfit, stand in the foyer of a very swank theatre, wait for the opera intermission, then bustle about, pushing people aside saying, "Move along, move along."
• Sneak into a gynecologist's empty patient room, then scream at the top of my lungs, "The baby's going to come outta WHERE?"
• Drive at exactly the speed limit. High-beam and honk at others that don't.
• Make a buncha mix-CD's featuring Grandmaster Flash and the Funky Bunch, New Edition, Ladysmith Black Mambazo, and Cannibal Corpse, put a barcode on them, and sneak them into the library CD section.
• Sing the national anthem at the top of my lungs, with a few incorrect words, give a ribbon to the first person to correct me.
• Put 2 chairs and a desk, interview style, on the street. Put a camcorder on a tripod. Interview any and all people who sit with me. Alternate between an interview for a legally suspect and highly dangerous job, a celebrity interview (with questions intended for John Voigt, circa 'Deliverance), naturalization interview for Luxembourg.
• Go to McDonald's, ask to see the manager, order Combo 1, haggle.
• Get on a bus with a ghetto blaster blaring Bing Crosby's White Christmas at full volume.
  
• Wear a utilikilt, stand in front of the women's washroom, pointedly refuse entry for anyone who doesn't not, in fact, have a skirt.
• Get a three-piece suit, get a haircut, briefcase, better posture. Go shopping at the local organic co-op. Complain about the prices.
• Protest Greenpeace, just cuz.
• Stand in the middle of a busy street, offer free hugs, ask for tips.
• Go to a Volkswagen dealership, try and get as much info as I can about the current Jetta, try and drop the word 'Nazi' as casually and as often as I can.
• Buy a moleskine notebook, strike a conversation up with a hipster, try and find an excuse to bring out my moleskine and open it up, revealing pages after pages of pasted in Cathy comic strips. Ask him which one is his/her favourite.
  
• Open up a stall selling peanut butter jelly sandwiches.