- how much horsepower their car has/its MPG city and highway.
- how to use power-tools without flinching.
- a solid, non-wavering opinion on the current championship sporting event.
- a fairly detailed knowledge of the current socio-politico-geographic layout of the current country in turmoil.
- how much they can benchpress/how much they tell others they can benchpress/when drunk.
- a fairly manly reason why they no longer 'work out'/a very high-brow, awe-inspired reason why they still work out (e.g. 'look good naked' is not a good reason. Good reason are : 'be there for my kids', 'so I can play with them till the sun goes down', 'for my volunteer work in the Tibetan hinterlands where I must free climb twice a day with 200 pounds worth of much needed medicine and food hanging from a caribinger pierced through my testicles')
- how to fix that thing that's making that really weird noise but wasn't before.
- what the HELL is all that crap when they open the fuse box.
- proper treatment of electrical burns.
- every term the car mechanic uses when they give an estimate ("Yeah, but to do it right, we'll have to re-align the Moss de-conflabulator, double jigg the pinion vice and router out the compression anchor tube.")
- NOT what sort of shampoo they use or why they use it.
- more or less what's going on when they have to pull over and pop the hood.
- from sight, whether a screw is 3/8" or a 1/4"
- what is, and what is NOT, a 'real beer'.
- at least one guy in the Joint.
- five different slang terms for mammary glands.
- if not what it actually means, then at least how to use the term 'load-bearing' in such a way as to appease wife/girlfriend/and Home Depot construction expert.
- at least one food, of which the only real version can be found at a very specific city (e.g. "You think that's pizza? You haven't had pizza unless you've been to...").
Like a late 90's webring, replete with link back and hints at an actual relationship with other authors, this is a piece I'd like to say in.. rebuttal is too harsh a term, in reply, to my very long standing internet friend, zompist, where he posts his various gripes with that great sprawling hot mess, Cyberpunk 2077. Now I say hot mess because that's what the internet at large thinks of it, but me, playing on the worringly over-powered computers on GeForce Now, have experienced nearly no problems. Or at least not problems that bother me enough. Keep in mind I'm the Homer Simpson when it comes to critiquing alot of things. I just like, alot of things. Cheap date, as it were. It might be my hundreds of hours in Bethesda titles and regularly having to look up console commands to debug yet another janked out quest, but it takes a rather large bug to befuddle and begrudge me. Like if a bug repoed my car, maybe, or told me how much weight I had actually put on during ...
Comments
(I lie, I don't know anyone in jail.)
monky : purely coincidental. Yup. Absolutely.