Skip to main content

Bocce News Update #1 : Classic American Sports Report

So, my work's annual bocce tournament is upon us. After each match, we have to update our big ol' wiki site with a little news item on what's going aboot and what happened.

Naturally, I take liberties.




In a stunning display of athleticism, wit, and alarmingly feminine grace, TEAM A (Sam and Larry playing) squeaked out a win against the ever fashionable Team B (Jane and Mary)!

Team B charged the field with random outcries of Power Rangers and cheers for their favourite Quidditch teams, and wooed the crowd with their scarf-type-dealies (that I'm sure has a proper name but darned if I know it).

TEAM A commented that they "just brought their A-game" and that they "really gelled as a team", and "left it all out on the field".

Team B was a bit subdued during question period, noting that "they will definitely be looking at restructuring their organization in post-season", but are "really looking forward to their next challenge" and "will get their head back into the game". They are hoping to show the world they "have a lot of heart, and have something to bring to the league".

TEAM A noted that "they had some lucky bounces", and "tried their best to capitalize on the scoring opportunities." Larry was heard saying "I'm still not entirely clear on the rules" right after Sam grabbed the mic and yelled "I'M GOING TO DISNEYLAND!".

Comments

Monkfish said…
I liked the scarf type dealies, but i was expecting a little more when they mentioned "costumes".
DMK said…
"...alarmingly feminine grace..." -- that's really funny. Well done, Owl! Made my day.

Popular posts from this blog

Insults From A Senile Victorian Gentleman

You SIR, have the hygeine of an overly ripe avocado and the speaking habits of a vaguely deranged chess set. I find your manner to be unctuous and possibly libelous, and whatever standard you set for orthodontal care, it's not one I care for. Your choice in news programs is semi-literate at best and I do believe your favourite news anchor writes erotic literature for university mascots. While I'm not one to point out so obvious a failing, there has been rumour that the brunches you host every other Sunday are made with too much lard and cilantro. If you get my meaning. There is something to be said about your choice of motor-car fuel, but it is not urbane and if I were to repeat it, mothers would cover their children's ears and perhaps not a few longshoremen within earshot would blush. How you maintain that rather obscene crease in your trousers and your socks is beyond me, perhaps its also during this time that you cultivate a skin regime that I'm sure requires the dea

Learn A New Thing...

Man, you really do learn a new thing everyday. There have been a few shocking realizations I've had over the past month or so: -bizaare is spelled bizarre (how bizaare) -scythe is pronounced "sithe", not the phonetic way. Which is the way I've been pronouncing it in my head for my whole life. My entire youth spent reading Advanced Thresher Sci-Fi and Buckwheat Fantasy novels, for naught! -George Eliot was a woman, real name Mary Ann Evans. -Terry Gilliam is American. -Robocop is a Criterion Film. I shit you not . -Uhm, oh damn, just after I post this, I find that, this movie is a Criterion film as well . Maybe I don't know what being a Criterion film really entails.. Alright all (three) readers of my blog, post and lemme know some earth shattering facts you've learned recently.

Europe : London Maritime Museum - March 15th

I've never, well I suppose most people don't either, thought of myself as a flat. Despite the fact I rarely go anywhere. Despite the fact that, given my shut in lifestyle I have about as much street smarts as, well, a middle aged programmer who rarely goes out.  But I am a flat, entirely. First step is admitting I have a problem.  On our way to the bus station, and at NO time did I sense any of this, or even have a sense of anyone being very close to me, both the zippers in my bag were opened, and my rather nice down jacket was nicked. Shameful, I know. But, I suppose, bravo on the thiefs, I didn't feel a thing. And well, I suppose we are going to Italy, so, less to pack? It was a certain jet of anger, I suppose, and befuddlement. But I also was so very thankful I had not lost my wallet and/or phone, both which would require hours and hours of hassle and phone calls to set me to rights.  It might be my stoic optimism is a source of my lack of street smarts. But I'm also