Monday, September 08, 2008

Stuff that freaks me out, as a Canadian, in the US

  • ridiculously cheap alcohol. Getting absolutely plastered should cost something. It shouldn't be comparable to getting a very large McDonald's meal.
  • anyone who talks about owning firearms in a non-chalant manner.
  • 12-egg omlettes.
  • commercials for hospitals
  • USA! USA! USA!
  • a political system with less than four parties.
  • patriotism
  • the phrase "The greatest country in the world" when not applied to Sweden.
  • the above phrase spoken with dyed in the skin certainty.
  • food portions that could feed a large village in Uganda. For a month.
  • the term 'my country', especially when coupled with 'get out of'.
  • flag colours displayed anywhere other than a goddamn flag. These include, but are not limited to, bandanas, shoes, entire body suits. Superheroes excluded.
  • the pledge of allegiance. Sounds like something that members of a rather well-armed militia might have. I think it's the 'allegiance' bit. Makes one think of sides and armed conflict.
  • Homeland Security. The entire border thing. I'm worried I'll say something completely wrong, give not quite the right answer, and be sucked into GitMo or somesuch. Of all the fears, this is the most real to me.
  • how much coverage y'all give to lost blonde women from the mid-west.
  • Wal-Mart
  • the near gladiatoral fervour with which Monday Night Football is televised.
  • 24-hour news which refuses to put quotes around 'news'.

2 comments:

itchylick said...

OUTRAGEOUS! Not one word of that is tr ... well, most of that isn't ...

Damn it.

Anonymous said...

Keep posting 'Towlie, you have an audience.