I finished this McSweeney's book. It's quite good, as it tries to "be funny without being humourous". Think the subtler parts of "The Office". This, naturally, sparked off a series of idears in my head, one of which is, well, read the title.
14 years : to pay back 20 bucks you borrowed from your best friend for a questionable strip bar.
10 years : your undergraduate degree.
4 years : realizing that you are indeed, catching.
3 years : finding where you misplaced that nailgun.
8 months : to realize you are in a relationship.
23 days : to finish a 'friendly game' of Risk.
17 hours : replying "I love you too" to your significant other's IM.
4 minutes : pause in conversation while talking with your father-in-law about cross-dressing.
2 minutes 39 seconds : hugging your buddy who just rescued you from soviet-era commandos on a mission to harvest your brains for their super army.
12 seconds : removing a thorn from your left testicle.