Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Craigslist Posting for Free Water Generator

A workmate of mine asked me, half-jokingly, to write up a blurb for a air-water gatherer, thing... Here it is, in all it's lurid glory.

Are you a crazed, fringe militia leader with a cache of weapons, a near best selling manifesto, and yet are continually surprised you cannot keep your chapter strong and thriving? The problem is not with your message (how the Illuminati controls the CBC and forces mind-altering substances into our brainstems via the 'security-strip' of the new $20 bills); no, the problem is that all your past adherents have been DYING OF DEHYDRATION. Who would have thought that the next upheaval and revolution of the Canadian government was being stalled by something as simple as water?

If only there was some way to procure water without debasing yourself and your group by plugging into the fluoride laced 'water table' that all the sheeple suck from? If only there was a way to automagically create this life-sustaining, revolution-supporting 'water' that seems so necessary!

Lucky for you! And lucky for whatever chiropractor is going to service you after you pick this up, there is the 'Wataire Atmospheric Water Generator '. Jesus, just look at the title, water is in it almost twice. Call it one and a half times. You can't go wrong.

Water, for you, your Chapter, and for whoever decides to side with you before the Cleansing Nighttime Death Squads are activated.

It's worth like, $1000, but what do you care, you're going to create upheaval in the System and stick it to the Man. You care nothing of monies.

This has also never been used, so you can be sure that no bourgeious lips have tainted the finely crafted water spouts.

Pick it up, no questions asked, no identifying information given.

PS you will need to 'hook into' the Grid for power to operate this machine.


Anonymous said...

I'll take it! Tell me where to send the flying monkeys.

Actually that sounds just like a Woot product description.

The Nighthawk said...

Love it! A most excellent write-up. :)

Niteowl said...

Thanks guys! :)