Friday, November 03, 2006

Novel Synopsis

I realize that some of have no idea what my novel is about. That's probably because I haven't told you combined with the unfortunate fact that you most likely don't have ESP. My main reasons for not talking about it was because it was mind-bogglingly silly. It still is. The more tangential reason was because I wanted to finish it first. Well, it's done (sorta).

So, without further adieu, here is my pitch:

What is the only thing that a menacingly artistic panda, a suicidally brave boy hunter, and an unconventionally gadgeteering gnome have in common? The Faire, an annual festival in the Land of Ga for just about everything.

"Dance Panda, Dance" is a mildy humourous novel written with obsequious adulation to Terry Pratchett, Michael Ende, and Douglas Adams. Set in the fantastic and wonderously absurd Land of Ga, where Cheese Pirates and Dagger Dwarves roam. It is the story of Steve, a panda, Patrick, a gnome, and Enkidu the hunter, who want, more than anything, to get to The Faire.

Edward, a Fourth Level Scroll Clerk, might put a tiny hiccup in their plans. As it's at The Faire where he hopes to start his very own violent and bloody revolution. Before The Faire is done, the pair will unwittingly be a pawn in his diabolical plan, have to thwart the plans, survive any fallout, and prove themselves to the world.

This is a story about how in losing your way, you can find true friendship, find yourself, and if you happen to help a maniacal paper pusher with visions of totalitarian rule, find the strength in yourself to stop him.

Will Edward spark the revolution his blind and ruthless ambition thirst for? Will the three travellers make it through the sometimes treacherous, other times absurd, and always wonderous Land of Ga and get to The Faire? And if they do, how will they thwart Edward's plans, save The Faire, and save themselves?


monkfish said...

I'm glad you've finally put this up because, I've read the book several times and still had no idea what it was about.

Just kidding, I enjoyed it immensely.

Fan #3

Jake Masters said...

With respect to that other, more weighty accusation, of having injured mr. wickham, i can only

J said...

Say what you will about Jake Masters, he knows how to write a cliffhanger!

dave said...

At last we get a teaser on the book and perhaps what really happens in your brain! Sounds like an adventure. By the way, what are cheese pirates? are they related to the ass variety? lol, kidding.

Cooter said...

Well, it’s no secret that I like midgets. They are just cool. They can do things that other people just simply can’t, like jump out of a small box wearing a tuxedo and tap dance, so needless to say I was very excited when I got put into a practical arts class with the school little person. Now, this guy isn’t just a regular little person. He was an exceptionally cool little person. I shit you not he was on the track team, wrestling team, and the Varsity Baseball team (and no joke, he was the short stop….. I know, I know, it’s very ironic… life‘s cruel). I was determined to make friends with him, and I started talking to my half pint friend. We hit it off, and before I know it, I was calling my favorite brother in the whole world to tell him that I was going on a date with this midget. I think B-Cack actually pissed himself in delight when I told him. Now, I understand it is very rude to go out with somebody that you have no romantic feelings for, so I made sure he understood that was as friends only. He was cool with it.