Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Controversial Risk Strategies

And now to mock a game I've never actually played. (thanks betaray for the topic!)
  • breaking your pieces into smaller bits, colouring them your enemies colour, then inserting them in an opponents country to instigate low-intensity counterinsurgency warfare a la America versus every socialist South American country, ever.
  • recruiting Cthulu to your cause.
  • putting the word 'clockwork' in front of all your units thus granting them +3 to every stat.
  • stating Afganistan and Vietnam are impervious to offense.
  • mortgaging Park Place to leverage one more hotel onto Madison Ave.
  • announce the dissolution of the Soviet Bloc 20 years before it was actually formed and then make a killing on the FIRESALE OF TANKS.
  • announcing yourself Emperor of the Republic and spilling black paint over the entire board.
  • stringing a "Mission Accomplished" banner between an artillery and cavalry piece.
  • using a 1D20.
  • while in control of the USSR, throwing away any units who do not win.
  • declare you have "Transporter Technology", making any troop buildup unnecessary.
  • attacking your enemy's calvary with mange.
  • after taking Saudi Arabia, announcing you no longer have to defeat any more countries as you have enough energon to rule twenty earths and a Cybertron as well.
  • throwing down your four Aces and saying, "All in."
  • yelling "WORTHLESS CHEESEMONGER" every time the player who has France rolls the dice.
  • telling Johnny he can't have another Pizza-Pocket unless he agrees to a non-aggression treaty.

1 comment:

Chris B. said...

Waterboarding takes on a whole new meaning here. Also, cheesemongers are not worthless.