Saturday, October 14, 2006

I'm a Dad!

Trying to think of something witty to say about fatherhood that hasn't been said about a billion times in as many languages is next to impossible. It's also only really exciting to people who are close to me (who, coincidentally, are the only people who know about or read this site); and those people already know I'm a dad, like, 2 months ago.

But yes, it's great! The baby is cute, doesn't talk back, and really only has a limited number of things it could possibly want. And for now, none of those are cash money or the keys to my car. So everything is good.

For those of you not in the know, newborn babies really only have a small spectrum of expressions. It's basically discomfort; threatening to be a full out cry; full out cry; and a vague sense of contentment which is fleeting as it segues quickly into sleep.

Emotionally, I find her incredibly cute, but scientifically, I realize there are MILLIONS OF YEARS OF EVOLUTION pressuring me to find the baby cute. I don't really stand a chance. It's kind of like saying I like food when I'm hungry. We are designed to think so.

Talking about fatherhood and the baby with coworkers and friends is more tricky than most new dads would admit. On one hand, you don't want to bore those who have no interest in kids; and on the other, you don't want to come off as callous and cruel with a hint of cold-bloodedness. I usually err on the cold-bloodedness side, as of the two, I'd much rather not bore someone with the ever so cute details, trials and tribulations that fatherhood brings.

To be honest, when all you have is a newborn, I'm not even sure I can call myself a father yet. It's not like I do anything in the way of guiding and such. I help burp, clean, change diapers, and put to sleep that cute little bundle. Right now, I'm marking down my fatherhood as 'extended, live-in babysitting'. I think I'lll consider it fatherhood when my daughter has a pierced nose, enough eye-liner to sink the Titanic, listening to "music" that is "JUST NOISE DAMNIT" and slamming the door with the standard scream of "I hate you!".

Or maybe it's all fatherhood, what do I know?

I sure hope I don't go through my entire fatherhood never quite sure whether or not I'm experiencing fatherhood. I'm sure there is recursion or a tautology in there somewhere.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

It's all fatherhood, I think. And, after ten years, I still look at that smart little girl who keeps calling me dad and wonder how we got together.

When she was a baby, it took me a couple months, really, to sink into loving her more than my earthly existance. Her mom, of course, was at that point as soon as she was born...her biological clock was wired to a ticking love bomb.

I think it is safe to talk to other parents about every nuance of her behaviors, especially the ones with young kids. They change so much every day when they are little! I remember going to work and coming home and she had grown. I could see it in her face.

You are going to be a great dad!