- while fraternization is frowned upon, sexual harassment complaints from someone lower on the totem pole about someone who has, quite literally, carte blanche will always end poorly for the complainer.
- the Kleenex in the break room are for make-up removal or runny noses. Please bring your own supply for crying jags or otherwise personal issues.
- our wellness coordinator is actually a co-op/intern position that's shared with six other mulitnationals across three states. You may book an appointment with him/her in March and late October.
- people who are inordinately thirsty during the day will have their cubicles moved furthest from the watercooler.
- our 'paid grief time' is for recruitment purposes only.
- the 'security cameras' are actually used to record the time you take for your breaks and lunch.
- smokers and people who have been deemed 'generally unpleasant' get fewer, and less enthusiastic email reminders to join the Summer Company Picnic.
- there is no typing test when we interview for receptionists.
- all calls that may be monitored are, all calls that no one could reasonably assume would be monitored are.
- business texts are checked for spelling accuracy, all managers are reprimanded accordingly.
- the heater isn't really broken in the bathrooms. That would assume there are heaters there to BE broken.
- The new front door is a metal detector.
Thanks to Jay Morrison for the photo. Transit Drivers Bus drivers are an archetype in North American culture. In the imagination they are generous in girth, have staunch opinions about unions and eat 300% the recommended intake of red meat. The odd one adheres to a strict conspiracy theory, which they manage to work into the most innocuous conversations. At least, that's what's been ingrained in our collective subconscious along with "Han shot first" and "Dukakis, 1988". But transit drivers, like everyone else, are individuals. Unique, utterly one of a kind from the 5 billion others who roam this spinning mass of molten iron with the cool, carbon life-form infested shell. Sure, you see the reticent ones, who have a 100 yard stare and coolly watch passengers get mild hypothermia while they take their union-sanctioned 15 minute break inside their cozy bus. But there are other, more colourful characters as well. In my city, there is one that calls out every st...
Comments