- One (1) gas station attendent who will be nearly indistinguishable from the 'squeegy kids' that hang around the Shell station, the only difference being a dull, dirty name-tag worn in an innovative part of the body.
- Twenty-three (23) life-harrowing experiences while on the highway with the family that will make me question why we ever left the comforts of our home to visit some corporate nightmare of fibreglass cartoon animals and hazardous carnival rides .
- Three (3) feelings of incompetence as I miss our turn-off.
- Fifteen (15) meals at fast-food restaurants I have back home.
- One (1) meal at 'some place local' only to be scared by their lack of ketchup and insistence on selling RC Cola.
- Seven (7) sensations that the skin is crawling off my body due to some indiscernible 'dirtiness' in the hotel
- One (1) air conditioner that performs as expected if it were renamed Tepid Humid Mover of Funky Air.
- One (1) really bad sunburn in an embarrassing or disproportionate body part (e.g. on the one arm that's hanging out the driver's window, only on the left side of my neck. ankles, etcetera).
- Eleven (11) realizations that this city is almost exactly like the city I took a vacation from. Minus the RC Cola.
- Two (2) attempts to 'walk cool' in the shopping district of new city, only to break the illusion of coolness soon after (stumbling into a coat rack, tripping over a carpet runner, mistaking the fitting room for a washroom, etc).
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Riders for My Vacation
Riders are little notes that an act will give to a venue specifying what they need. Some examples. ChrisD came up with the brilliant suggestion to write one up for myself.